Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Playing Catch-Up

It's been a month since I've posted much of anything on my blog, and aside from the day to day stuff that keeps even the most faithful bloggers away from a routine posting schedule, I've had a whole lot of life going on.

Next weekend is Kinsey's big 2nd birthday bash! There will be more to follow about that after the big event. I can't believe my baby girl is going to be 2 in a few weeks! Time really does move too fast.

Just this weekend we returned from a week long trip to the Seattle area, a place by the name of Poulsbo where my husband and I lived for almost 2 years right after we got married. I haven't been there in over 4 years, and it was like a blast of memories I had forgotten all came back to me like I was there yesterday. Isn't it amazing how memories can be lost and then found again so easily? I really miss the area, water around every turn it seems, how the fog settles deep into the tall trees in the morning, the moss that grows on everything, it's just a beautiful place that everyone should visit at least once in their lifetime!

Before that trip I had been hustling to get some new jewelry pieces up in my Etsy store and together for a jewelry show in Washington. Check them out here.

I've also been getting a website up and running for my photography. I was able to get a few more shots of family for my portfolio, but I'm looking forward to working with some real clients soon.

I also had some great news to share at the beginning of August, but held of due to my intuition and it proved, sadly, to be right. Our family was really excited to add a new bundle of joy next spring, but I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I recently found this poem and it really summed up all the feelings I have had in the past 3 weeks, so I'll share it here, too.

Just Those Few Weeks

For just those few weeks
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks,
I came to know you...
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks...
when I lost you,
i lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations.
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks...
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.
Just a mere few weeks..
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I??
You were just those few weeks, my little one.
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life richer
and to give me a small glimpse of eternity.
~S. Erling

I'm a list maker

Do you write lists? Not just simple grocery lists and to-do lists, but every detail of life lists and future goals lists?

I do.

I can write the same list over and over so it is just right. I think it may be a little OCD? Maybe it's just a quirk?

Either was it's a type of release for me.

Sometimes (more often than not) my thoughts, goals, plans, and ideas tend to accumulate inside my head right as I lay my head on the pillow hoping to drift off to dream land. I just can't sleep until these precious thoughts are safely written down on paper, so as not to be forgotten by morning.  During the course of the day so many thoughts build up inside my head and writing lists helps me empty my head...if only for a few minutes.

You'd think I would wise up and put a pen and paper on my nightstand.

Instead I often find myself wandering down to the dining room table, a place that is the closest thing to an office desk for me. Sitting there in the soft light with a still and quiet house I can think, write, and clear my head. I can picture very clearly the "desktop planner" that sits inside my's too small for my ideas, and far too messy to be trusted to hold the important stuff and keep track of everything. Sticky notes, highlighted areas, smudged ink fingerprints, meaningless junk, important dates and all the creative hullabaloo that is constantly running loose in my brain.

I think I need a school room sized dry erase board in there instead.

So last night as I laid in bed with a restless mind full of clutter I tossed and turned until I realized it was a writing things down kind of night. So I climbed quietly out of bed and crept downstairs to my peaceful "office", sat with pen in hand and wrote a few lists.


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